|Posted on December 4, 2016 at 7:00 PM|
All issues submitters names will be changed to protect people's privacy.
From Texas: My friend's Issue:
I have a friend that is also my cousin. She was married and decided to divorce her husband and begin living the person she had an affair with who is a female. She realized that is was a very troubled situation for her and she left that person she was having an affair with. I begin to help her gain her confidence back. She was doing well, making good choices. Then all of a sudden she went back to the destructive relationship.Now she is mean, argumentative, making even more bad choices and tries to draw me into to her drama filled life.
I cannot support her in these types of decisions and be drawn into a drama fillled life of bad choices and conversations. It is too draining for me. I have been avoiding her calls and ignoring her messages. I was wondering if I should tell her that I can no longer be her support system. Or should I just continue to ignore her.
From Texas It is unfortunate that your friend has decided to return to an unhealthy relationship. I see that your friend has many issues, but I want to help you with your issue. It is good that you have realized that bad company causes drama filled lives. You are wise to not want to fill your mind and thoughts will negativity and destructive conversations with your friend/cousin. I understand it may be hard to cut your cousin off and not communicate. But it will be good to tell her why you are not going to communicate with her anymore. It may help her realize she is going in the wrong direction. Sometimes whe have to let our family and friends know that there are professionals who are trained at dealilng with these types of issues. Some people need a psychologist to sort through the reasons they keep doing the same things and causing problems in their live. but many people try to use their friends as the sounding board and psychologist. I once had a friend that stated, I don't get paid to listen to your drama, you shoul use your health insurance an hire a psychologist to listen to that stuff.
In the community of people of color, we shy away from getting the help we need. A source that I use is the Bible. It has solutions for every problem in your life. Many people don't realize that the same problems we are having now were solved in Biblical days. If we just take that time to apply them to our life we would make or live much easier.
So just a word to encourage you:
Philippians 4:8 Contemporary English Version (CEV)
8 Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.
Categories: Got Issues